We are emotional beings and if trust is broken we can be faced with complex and difficult decisions.
How does trust get broken?
In my experience as a relationship counsellor, clients share with me that Trust can be broken in many different ways – to name a few:
- An affair
- Or another addiction
If you share with a loved one that you are doing something, and you are actually doing something different, then you are not being honest and you have broken trust in your relationship.
How can broken trust affect you?
- Do you over-question your partner?
- Are you feeling paranoid?
- Are you questioning your love?
Do you want to break up? Or can your love help you both to recover and rebuild your relationship? Can it be as simple as that?
First steps to recovery
Being an experienced therapist I know that everyone is unique and individual. It is, therefore, inevitable that your first steps to repairing broken trust in relationships will also be unique and individual.
This process will take patience, time and commitment. You can start by asking the following questions:
- Is the mistrust is difficult to forget? Can you work on it?
- Can you forgive? Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes sometimes!
- Do you feel miserable? Ask yourself if you would feel more miserable if your relationship ends?
- Do you want to end your relationship because too much damage has been done?
- Remember the good times and what you have to loose and although this time is hard, be fair on yourself. Step back and try to put your thoughts into perspective.
- Tune into your partner. Have they explained? Do they have a plan to follow to act differently and gain your trust back? Are they being proactive in this?
Give yourself time – Look at all the information – Think things through.
What does your heart say? What does your head say?
Where do you go from here?
Spend time considering your choices and talk things through openly and honestly:
- How strong is your love?
- Can you forgive?
- Do you have the same goals?
- Or is it best that you break up?
- You can, in time, learn to love and trust again!
The answer lies within yourself – How can you see this moving forward? – Be proactive!
Feel, Think, Discuss, Act
Can Counselling help?
Repairing broken trust in relationships can present us with complex and difficult decisions. Counselling can help by providing an impartial, non judgemental, empathic and confidential space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings with an experienced professional.
About the Author:
I have many years of rewarding experience counselling individuals and couples supporting them through their struggles and trust issues. I hope this article is of some help to you.
BACP Counsellor Manchester